Our lives are usually pretty wild and fun these days, but last week we took a big turn. I want the blogosphere to know our real lives so I'll share. I wish my words were eloquent, but if you know me....you can probably follow my thought process and know what I'm trying to say :)
We found awhile ago that we were expecting a baby. I don't really like to tell early, but I'm so sick...there are really NO secrets when you get sick at 6 weeks pregnant.
I went in for my 10 week appointment and the Doctor found NO HEARTBEAT. Okay, I got it, having this baby full term was not part of God's plan for us. I was fine with that...I trust God fully with every single thing that happens in our lives. AND I can even think of millions of reasons why it wasn't best to happen. My head can wrap around that, I was okay.
I was far enough along I had to have a D and C. WOW, I haven't even had surgery..ever! We learned alot though this...none of my friends have lost a little one that far along, so this was a VERY new experience. My sweet doctor was incredible. "This wasn't caused by anything you did or anything you didn't do". He was great about helping me deal with everything correctly.
We scheduled my surgery ASAP, G got off work....now I wanted to start dealing with the emotional side of dealing with the loss of my baby.
"Empty Arms", that was the name of the book someone gave me. OUCH, my heart really hurt. I hadn't thought about that yet...I would never get to meet or hold my little one. The book was great helping me sort through and deal with everything. G and I were able to get away the night before surgery. We read the book, talked, cried, ate a good dinner and tried to get a good nights sleep. This was my most favorite verse. Psalm 22 9,10 and Psalm 139:1-18 My God is also my baby's God. My baby just had the privilege of seeing Him first. I will see my little one again!
I highly recommend Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt! The book is written by a lady who had 2 tragedies (1 late, 1 early) and is currently a counselor and a believer.
So, its been a week...I'm doing well, my family and friends have been so supportive and sweet.
I know I lost my baby, but I am very at peace and not sad or weepy anymore. (OR SICK)
We are so excited about all the fun plans we have for this Christmas Season!
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10 comments:
Love you bunches Moo.
mt
Mary Martha, we are so sorry. We will be praying for you.
Mary Martha, we love you and we're all here for you! Whatever you need...
So sorry and sad with you, MM.
Oh, and thank you for sharing....
Thanks for your testimony. Your trust in the Lord is very inspiring. As always, we love you all so much. Can't wait to see you soon!!!
I love you!
The other MT :)
(megan)
MM- I did not know and really had you on my mind last week- wondering how you were. I said a little prayer for you and emailed you and had not heard back. I am so sad with you right know over this news. You are amazing in looking at the plan of God in all of this and such an inspiration. I want you to know that I am here for you and will be thinking about you through this difficult time. Thank you for you honesty and story about dealing with this- i know that you have enriched the lives of others. Please let me know how to be here for you- Love melanie
i can totally hear you saying what you wrote here... thanks. i just wish i could really be with you instead of reading from my computer.
i love you. thanks for sharing with everyone. we'll be praying.
I've heard that book is wonderful. Your faith is so inspiring, especially right now. Thank you for sharing.
Love,
Sara Elizabeth
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